After all, it's just a ride….

The Dark Tower (2017) Trailer

I’m going to keep my powder dry on this one in terms of my long-standing relationship to King’s thirty year magnum opus, other than to say its been a companion to me throughout my life since I was doing my A levels when the first books came out in my late teens. I was very disappointed to see where King concluded the story in the final two or three books but to  see it finally come to the big screen, through numerous development difficulties, did make me vaguely excited. That was until this trailer dropped today and my feeble hopes have been dashed, I’ve got a severe Winters Tale feel about this one, as the tone and texture of this screams wrong, wrong, wrong. Goddamn it;

That does not remotely feel like Midworld, that doesn’t look like Jake, and where the fuck are Eddie & Susannah? Or Oy for that matter? I guess they are being reserved for episodes II, III and so on. Jesus, this is not a series suited for slo-mo, ‘cool’ catching rounds and chambers and making superhuman deadeye shot shenanigans, thus it seems they are going to jettison a very strange, prismatic blend of the Western, mythic poetry and post-apocalyptic fiction that stretches across King’s rich multiverse and instead make another fucking generic actioner. Fuck. That. Noise……and no Mr. Executive you don’t get away with lifting one of Morricone’s iconic character themes and get away with it you disrespectful fucks…..

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